It appears that we just keep going deeper and deeper into relational tips with our children. As part of my reading challenge for 2022, I picked up a book called “She Calls Me Daddy” by Robert Wolgemuth. This book was not what I was expecting at all. I say that, but I also need to say that it was a really good book. In it, the author spends less time explaining point after point that he makes, but rather opts to share story after story of his fatherhood journey with his daughters. A main point would be driven home every once in a while, but the main thrust of the book was to listen and glean just a little bit of wisdom from his story.
In a chapter about teaching our daughters to converse, something I don’t think many girls, mine especially, have ever struggled with, he shares advice on what he was advised to do to aid his girls in learning how to converse well at an early age. This advice goes beyond just for girls though and has been really helpful for me in raising my son as well. Keep asking questions. I don’t know why I had never thought of that as a great way to keep a conversation going with my kids, but I can tell you, this has worked.
Recently, I took my two oldest girls to a favorite date spot of ours, Chick-fil-a. We had some big family changes coming up beyond the horizon, and we could sense their uneasiness and sensed that they needed to talk some things through but maybe just didn’t know how. So we ordered up some chicken nuggets and sweet teas and sat after school with two beautiful little girls across from me excited to be with dad. I asked a question. They answered. From there, I was able to find another question to piggyback off of my previous question. They answered again. We kept diving deeper into topics and genuinely had a lot of fun.
We live in a world that at times pokes fun at the fact that our kids like to talk and can take ages to tell one simple story. That second part is a fact and it can be frustrating at times, but we must remember that our kids are talking for a reason. They want to be heard. They want to be cared about. They want our involvement. This is one simple way that I’ve found to make this a little fun. How many questions can I ask in a row to my kid? How deep can we get into a given subject or interest that they have? Will my kid ever let me talk again?
In closing, I want to again bring this back to the fact that our kids need conversation with us. They need connection with us. I know for me and probably for you as well, we end up being the one talking with our kids in a conversation most of the time. I fear that sometimes we talk too much. Maybe the time has come to do the unthinkable and let our kids talk about what they need to get out of their heads. They are filled to the brim with emotions and excitement and fears and they want to tell you all about it. They need to tell you all about it because eventually they will get to a point and get to an age where they will tell anybody who will listen about life. I don’t know about you, but in my kid’s life, I want to be one that listens.
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